My “Growing Up” Moment #qotm


I haven’t done one of these in a while. Surprised to see me?

This month’s question is “What was your ‘growing up’ moment?

I started writing my reply to the question, and I started to think, “You know, I think I’ve written on this before…” I looked through my archives and yup, I sure had. So I’m just going to point you at that post and ask you to read it and come back here. It opens in a new window or tab, so you’ll just need to close the window or tab.

I’ll wait…

Back so soon? Okay then…

Something changed in me on the walk to the L (the train, for those of you unfamiliar with Chicago) from the counselor’s office that crappy day: I realized that the reason I was at that university was I allowed Mom to push me into it. The whole thing wasn’t her fault, it was mine. I knew I didn’t belong there, I knew there was nothing there for me, I knew I was wasting my time and my money (and Mom’s), and most of all, I didn’t want to be there. And yet, I was there. I was there because I was still thinking like I did when I was in high school: she told me where I was going, and I went.

She asked me, “Why did you tell me you wanted to go there?”

I said, “I never said I wanted to go there. I told you that I didn’t want to, and you told me that was where I was going, and that was that. I figured I’d better get used to it.”

She sat for a minute. “Oh.”

That was my “growing up” moment.

9 thoughts on “My “Growing Up” Moment #qotm

  1. Interesting, John. I remember reading the first post (which means I’ve been following you for at least half a year!) As a mom, I told all three of my kids that while I insisted they get a high school education, I was NOT going to force them into going to college. I did not want to spend the time or money in something they did not want to do and I was tired of having to be the homework police. I explained that it was their life and they would have to make their own choices. I told them there were opportunities out there and that it was up to them to figure it out. Their father and I would help them where we could, but ultimately their life was theirs. The two oldest tried community college but just weren’t motivated enough and went into retail positions. Only our youngest has gone to college (she is working on a psych major). It took a while of dealing with retail and warehouse positions, but now the 30 year old is working as an administrative assistant for a construction company and the 28 year old just became an apprentice in sound and communication. We are quite proud of them. Glad you found your way too!


    1. That’s as it should be, too. Push them through high school and let them decide about any further education. There are too many kids in college because their parents made them be there who have no interest in being there. It was true when I was going and I’m sure it’s true today.

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  2. So, I’ll be honest and say I didn’t read the other post, but I think I will now. I’m curious. Bickering with your mom is something I think we can all relate to. It seems to have been a learning experience for both of you.


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