Writers’ Workshop: Me, A Disney Princess?

People who have been reading my contributions to Mama Kat’s Pretty Much World Famous Writers’ Workshop over the last however many years I’ve been doing it have no doubt noticed a trend in the prompts I’ve selected: They tend to be the ones that offer the greatest comedic possibilities. So today, when Kat offered up this prompt:

If you had to choose a Disney character to live the rest of your life as, which princess would you choose and why?

I decided it was just too good an opportunity to pass up.

I mean, I’m a crippled man in his mid 60’s with a BMI well in excess of 30. The thought of me as a Disney princess has me figuratively rolling around on the floor laughing my behind off. But I understand the intention of the question, and, while I’m not much of a fan of some of Disney Studios’ later work (mostly because I haven’t seen a lot of it), I do know who the Disney princesses are:

  • Snow White,
  • Sleeping Beauty,
  • Cinderella,
  • Ariel, from The Little Mermaid,
  • Belle, from Beauty & The Beast.
  • Pocahontas,
  • Mulan,
  • Princess Jasmine, from Aladdin,
  • Princess Merida, from Brave,
  • Nala, from The Lion King,
  • Rapunzel, from Tangled,
  • Giselle, from Enchanted,
  • Elsa, from Frozen,
  • And, last but by no means least, Annette Funicello. (I guess I have to ask “If Annette, then why not Christina Aguilera or Britney Spears?” But we’ll save that conversation for another day.)

I’m sure there are others, but we’ll leave it at that for now.

Another reason I picked this prompt: I feel a certain affinity with Walt Disney, ever since I learned that he was born at 2156 North Tripp Avenue, in Chicago’s Hermosa neighborhood. (His birthplace has been restored and is now a tourist attraction.) I worked about three blocks from there for a year and a half, and had no idea. I’ve been to both Disneyland in Anaheim, California and Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida, and enjoyed the former more than the latter, because I went to it when I was 11 and not at 44.

Anyway, back to the princess thing: I guess, if I had to be one of the princesses, it would be Merida, from Brave:

  • She’s Scottish, I’m Irish.
  • She has wild red hair, I had wild hair that should have been red (it’s nearly all gray now).
  • She makes me think of this:

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Or both!

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By the way, I mean it when I say “or both!” I don’t see how one precludes the other.

Speaking of Disney princesses, have you ever noticed how borderline erotic things get in The Lion King?

First time I saw that, I needed a shower.

By far, my favorite Disney “princess” movie is Beauty & The Beast. The artwork is fantastic, the most stunning scene coming during the “Tale As Old As Time” dance. Watch at 2:30; the first time I saw it, I was flabberghasted, when they come from straight overhead down to floor level. That must have taken a lot of work, even with a computer.

Maybe the reason I like it so much is because of Angela Lansbury as the voice of Mrs. Potts, David Ogden Stiers as the voice of Cogsworth, and Jerry Orbach as the voice of Lumiére. They’re what I call the “Sunday night crowd,” actors who appeared on a lot of the Sunday night shows and made-for-TV movies (Ms. Lansbury on Murder, She Wrote, on which Orbach made a number of appearances while she was away, and Stiers played the prosecutor in many of the Perry Mason movies as well as his co-starring role as Major Charles Winchester on M.A.S.H). Jerry Orbach was, early in his career, a fine musical comedy actor and singer (he introduced the song “Try To Remember” when he was in the original production of The Fantasticks in 1962), and he managed to sound like Maurice Chevalier in the part. “Be Our Guest” was one of the musical highlights of film, and when the dishes start dancing at 2:40, it’s Disney madness at its finest.

If the question had asked for “which Disney character” I would choose, it would definitely be Lumiére. Mais oui!

16 thoughts on “Writers’ Workshop: Me, A Disney Princess?

  1. Lumiere! Life as a candlestick would come with its own set of challenges, but I think you’d make the most of it! πŸ˜‰


  2. I “saw” Beauty and the Beast for the first time a week ago. I put “saw” in quotes, because I saw it from behind. It was actually “Beauty and the Beast In Concert” (https://www.a2ic.org/), and I had the honor of being in the chorus, behind a full orchestra. Even from that vantage point, it was amazing. The cast was top-notch; I fully expect to see their names on Broadway or in Hollywood someday. I am in love with the voice of Linzi Thomas singing “Beauty and the Beast”! And the dancers were jaw-droppingly good — “Be Our Guest” and the tavern beer-mug scene received well-deserved thunderous applause.

    Yes, I can go on and on about that production. πŸ™‚ I still have the songs running through my head.

    I don’t know many of the Disney princesses, but I think I’d choose to be Belle. Strength and inner beauty, as well as outer beauty.


  3. Never having seen “Beauty and the Beast,” I didn’t know Jerry Orbach was the voice of Lumiere. I saw him on Broadway when he originated the role of Billy Flynn in Chicago. He was stupendous! Brought the house down with “Razzle Dazzle.”


      1. He was! Rest of that cast was great, too. Chita Rivera as Velma, Gwen Verdon & Liza Minelli as Roxie. My first husband LOVED Gwen Verdon, so he got us 3rd row orch. When we got to the theater, we found that GV was out for a few weeks for surgery, so Liza was subbing. She was AWESOME. 1st hubs got similar tix when GV returned. She, too, was awesome.

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  4. I can totally see you as Lumiere! I do believe that Disney included things to entertain the adults as well as the kids in his movies. I still enjoy watching them!


    1. A columnist for the Raleigh News and Observer (I spent a lot of time there once) once pointed out that The Little Mermaid had a pretty nice body. Guess that was for the Dads…

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  5. I remember that moment in Beauty and The Beast because of the beauty and brilliance of the animation. It was great seeing it on the big screen. The lion King was also really great and that scene with the lions was quite adult. Which Disney Princess am I? I did one of those quizzes and I ended up being Belle from Beauty and the Beast. I can’t recall why but I was happy with that. I prefer the Grimm stories to the Disney versions to be honest….and the original Grimm when the witches wore hot iron shoes to dance in like in Snow White.


    1. I like the original Cinderella, where the stepsisters are chopping their toes and heels off to fit into the glass slipper. That’s one of those things the Disney animators never put into the movie.

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