Hogan’s Heroes: Season 1 Episode 7, “German Bridge Is Falling Down”

LOGLINE: In order to steal enough explosives to blow up a difficult bridge, Hogan’s men paint anti-Nazi graffiti on the camp’s ammo building.

As the episode opens, Schultz is conducting roll call, which we learn shortly that Hogan requested, ostensibly to discourage a breakout. At one point, he tells the men "smoke ’em if you got ’em," and the POW’s line up so that, from above and with their lighters lit, they form an arrow shape that can be seen by bombers flying overhead.

The next morning at roll call, Klink tells the POW’s that there had been an Allied bombing mission to blow up the Adolf Hitler Bridge, but it caused only minor damage and the bridge is still open, proving the superiority of the Third Reich. Carter yells out, "yeah, well wait ’til next time, Fritz baby!" Klink demands that the man who said that take two steps forward, and they all do. Klink says that the punishment will be to close the recreation hall for a week. When Hogan protests, saying that the men won’t be able to listen to their Tommy Dorsey records, Klink extends the time the rec hall is closed to two weeks.

Returning to the barracks, Hogan tells the Heroes that he wants to finish the job and asks Carter, who’s the demolition expert, what sort of explosives he has. Carter says he only has three firecrackers and a can of lighter fluid, and that he’ll need bleach and ammonia to come up with an explosive gas. Hogan tells Newkirk to volunteer for KP and get bleach and ammonia from the kitchen and tells Kinch and Carter to set up a lab in one of the tunnels.

Carter is working in the tunnel, and not having an easy time, as every thing he makes blows up. LeBeau makes a sign that says there’s road construction going on, to cover for the explosions, but eventually Carter climbs out of the tunnel in a daze, having endured one too many explosions. Kinch, who’s on lookout duty, says that Schultz is coming, so they put Carter in his bunk and LeBeau pretends to be feeding him.

Schultz wants to know what’s wrong with Carter and propses taking him to the doctor. To throw him off, Newkirk gets him to join in a card game with him and Kinch. Of course, Schultz gets a lousy hand and he drops out and leaves. Newkirk pulls a couple of bullets out of his pocket and says he stole them from Schultz. This give Hogan an idea: tunnel into the ammunition shack and help themselves to gunpower from the bullets. Carter stops him, telling him the tunnel off of which they were going to dig collapsed. So Hogan gets another idea…

Gathering enough gunpowder one bullet at a time is slow work, so they need to stretch out the time needed to paint the shack. First they thin the paint out so it doesn’t cover the graffiti, then they paint the ammunition shack pink, before they get enough gunpowder to bring down the bridge.

Carter builds the bomb, but doesn’t know how long to set the timer. Hogan tells them that the division messenger comes to Stalag 13 to pick up and drop off the mail, and today the mail’s going to have an extra package. They figure the distance between the camp and the bridge, and knowing that the drivers can only drive 40 miles an hour, they figure out how much time they need to set the timer for.

The division messenger comes and LeBeau keeps him busy while Newkirk slips the package into the sidecar with all the other mail. As the driver gets on his motorcycle and leaves, Schultz walks up and tells the Heroes that the division messenger charged him 10 Marks to deliver a pound of coffee to Düsseldorf.

This, of course, will throw the timing off, so they figure out which guard post along the road is closest to the turnoff for Düsseldorf, and Hogan goes to Klink, telling him that the POW’s bribed the division messenger to buy a case of his favorite wine in an effort to get the recreation hall reopened. Klink calls the guard post along the road, telling him to make sure the messenger doesn’t go to Düsseldorf, but continue over the Adolf Hitler Bridge. Klink hangs up, and tells Hogan that he’s going to smash all the Tommy Dorsey records, all the Jimmy Dorsey records, all the Andrews Sisters’ records, and if there are any Bing Crosby records, he’ll smash those, too.

They go outside just as the bomb detonates while the driver is on the Adolf Hitler Bridge. It’s loud and almost knocks the kommandant over. He makes a comment about the "road work" that’s been going on, and Hogan tells him that he thinks that’s the end of it. Klink wants to know how Hogan knows this, but he’s being coy…

The final scene is during roll call, when Klink is soliciting workers to rebuild the Adolf Hitler Bridge. Hogan volunteers his men, and after roll call they all gather around him and want to know why he did that. He says "it’ll have a special feature: a built-in bomb."

CAST:

• Bob Crane as Hogan
• Werner Klemperer as Klink
• John Banner as Schultz
• Robert Clary as LeBeau
• Richard Dawson as Newkirk
• Ivan Dixon as Kinchloe
• Larry Hovis as Carter
• Cynthia Lynn as Helga