LOGLINE: Hogan sneaks out of camp to a local German Hofbrau House to get the details of a nearby German army unit.
There’s a large German division on the move, and LeBeau and Newkirk are on the roof of the kommandant‘s office watching it. Carter climbs up into the guard tower to see what he can see from there, borrowing the guard’s binoculars. Meanwhile, Kinch has Klink’s phone tapped and is listening to a conversation he’s having. Naturally the guard catches Carter and tells him to get out, and LeBeau falls off the roof into the arms of Schultz, who just happened to be walking past.
Back in the barracks, LeBeau, Newkirk and Carter report on the size of the division and mention that wherever they’re headed, they’re passing a hofbrau close to camp. Kinch (with Newkirk’s help) reports on the call Klink received, from an officer of the Adolf Hitler Division, and says Klink was pretty shaken up when he heard the unit his caller was from.
In Klink’s office, Klink and Schultz are going over the inventory of supplies for the mess hall. Helga comes in and tells him there are two officers from the Adolf Hitler Division to see him, Captain Milheiser and Lieutenant Schmidt. They are collecting for the "Beautify Berchtesgaden" campaign. Klink, being the cheapskate that he is (unless the beneficiary is himself, in which case money is no object) does his best to avoid giving any money to the campaign, and only by accident he blurts out 5000 Marks. Milheiser and Schmidt thank him for his generosity and tell him he has until the end of the week to get the money to them.
London was pleased with the intel the Heroes passed on to them, and wants further information about where the Hitler Division is headed. They decide that spending time at Hilda’s Hofbrau might yield some additional information. Hogan goes out himself, dressed as a Luftwaffe Major, to Hilda’s Hofbrau, and is seated with Milheiser and Schmidt, introducing himself as Major Hoople, adjutant to Colonel Klink at Stalag 13. They poke fun at Klink, then Milheiser asks for a donation to the fund, which Hogan is more than happy to give 500 marks (in counterfeit money, of course).
Later, Hogan is hitting on Hilda, and she tells him that she has to close because she can’t afford to keep the place running. Hogan reassures her that he has some men that would be happy to help, and the next night he brings Carter, Newkirk, and LeBeau with him. Their job is to gather whatever intel they can as they pose as waiters.
Things get complicated when Schultz arrives…
The next day, Milheiser and Schmidt go to collect the 5000 marks from Klink, which, naturally, he doesn’t have, saying that he needs to get the money out of the bank. They tell him to bring the money to Hilda’s that evening. Schultz tries to warn Hogan not to send his men to Hilda’s, but Hogan said they left an hour earlier. Hogan leaves camp in the German officer’s uniform and Schultz tries to detain Klink, but is unsuccessful.
Hogan is talking to Hilda, explaining why he has to bring his men back, when Klink arrives. Carter, Newkirk, and LeBeau duck behind the bar and call Hogan ("Call for Major Hoople!"). He starts to march them out of the tavern, and Milheiser sees him and calls him over. Klink can’t believe Hogan is there in a German officer’s uniform, nor can he believe that several of the prisoners are with him. Klink sits back down and starts to explain that he wasn’t able to get the 5000 marks, and Hogan pulls an envelope out of his pocket with five (counterfeit) 1000-mark notes inside, reminding the Colonel that he asked him to get the money from the bank. He then leaves, saying he has a prisoner-of-war camp to run.
Klink, still upset that Hogan and his men were out of camp and Hogan was dressed as an officer, had a few words the next day…
- Bob Crane as Hogan
- Werner Klemperer as Klink
- John Banner as Schultz
- Robert Clary as LeBeau
- Richard Dawson as Newkirk
- Ivan Dixon as Kinchloe
- Larry Hovis as Carter
- Cynthia Lynn as Helga
- Frank Marth as Milheiser
- Willard Sage as Schmidt
- Paula Stewart as Hilda
Frank Marth will make several more appearances, usually as an SS general.
This one took a lot longer than I anticipated. Sorry about that.
NEXT: Episode 14, "Oil For The Lamps Of Hogan."