Writer’s Workshop: Goals? What Goals?

Image by kalhh from Pixabay

Today’s question is "Write about what you think your goals were 10 years ago. What has changed since then? Do you have the same goals?"

I had my stroke 15 years ago this February, so ten years ago my goals were probably to get back on my feet and to try and regain some of my lost faculties, like being able to use my right arm for more than something to have on the right side of my body that more or less matched at I had on my left. And I’m sure that I made a valiant but brief attempt at doing just that, and failed, and followed the Holton family motto, "if at first you don’t succeed, the hell with it." (Actually, the family motto is "Semper Fidelis," just like the US Marines, but we’ll talk about that some other time.)

I’ve been watching the YouTube channel of a young woman named Courtney Ryan, who dispenses relationship and fashion advice specifically for men, not that I need either at this stage of my life. Fifty years ago, on the other hand, I would have done well to listen to her, and if I had the sense God gave a hedgehog, I would have followed it, and arguably would not be sitting here typing this blog post with one hand. Today’s video was about how to become a "high value" man (or woman; since most of her viewers are men, for reasons that will become obvious if you watch the video, she directs her remarks mostly to them), and as I watched it, I found myself saying, "you know, I never did that, and I’m paying for it now." It’s under seven minutes long, if you want to watch it.

I erased a whole "mea culpa" section I had gone into here when I relized I was beating myself up, and you don’t want to hear me do that. Suffice it to say that, if I had a time machine, I would convince Ms. Ryan (with enough money) to accompany me to my bedroom from 50 yeears ago and have her sit with me-at-15 and go over this material, then make sure that me-at-15 actually followed up on it.

Rant over…

10 thoughts on “Writer’s Workshop: Goals? What Goals?

  1. I will have to check that gal’s youtube channel! Maybe she’ll have some pointers that I can pass along to Kainoa. Have you ever written about what happened when you had your stroke? It must have been incredibly scary for you and Mary. I bet she’s proud at how far you’ve come!


    1. Probably 99% of what Courtney has to say is probably way beyond Kainoa, but that video is a good one to see for everyone. Probably nothing different from what any other person would say, but she certainly looks good saying it.

      Never written the story of my stroke, but there wasn’t much to tell. I probably should write the story, anyway….


  2. I don’t think I need relationship advice any more than you do. I mean, like has been said, if you’d followed Courtney’s advice fifty years ago, you wouldn’t have met your wife. Likewise, twenty years ago, when I was fifteen, I guess if I’d followed any relationship advice that at all appealed to me, I wouldn’t have been with my husband now (if for no other reason, then because I thought I was exclusively attracted to women at the time). I guess it somewhat entertains you watching these videos though.

    As for your goals about overcoming your stroke, I understand. It’s hard to accept having lost skills or bodily functions, but when we’ve tried a ton of times, enough is enough. By the way, even so, I love your family’s motto too.


    1. I often say that if I hadn’t met Mary at school, God would have found a way to shove the two of us together. We actually first saw each other in a training class at a place we both worked, so it’s not out of the realm of possibilities.

      While it’s true that I have little or no use for the advice Courtney gives (she started her channel as a fashion advice channel for men and just segued into relationship advice), I think she does an excellent job presenting her material and encouraging interaction between the 250,000+ members of her community. She has a very engaging style and, let’s face it, she’s quite attractive. Young guys (and a few older ones) need to hear the things she says. She doesn’t really say anything different from the other relationship coaches, but her calm and easygoing technique is a strong contrast to some of the others. As a former trainer, I admire her skill.

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  3. I believe we all have those shoulda, woulda, coulda moments. But, can’t fret over it now. I say keep on keepin’ on! Wishing you and Mary a safe and joyful 2022! ✨


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