Gobble, Gobble, Gobble… #jusjojan

What do you get when you cross a Mafioso with an attorney? You get an offer you can’t understand.

A friend of mine (a lawyer) always liked the line from (I think) The Godfather: "A lawyer with a briefcase can do more damage than six guys with machine guns."

Congress is, for the most part, made up of lawyers, which explains a lot as far as to why laws are laden with so much boilerplate and gobbledygook. The trick with any piece of legislation that comes out of Washington (or your state capital, or county board, or city or town council) is to effectively disguise what the true intent of the law or regulation is. If you knew for a fact what the true intention of the legislaton or regulation was, you’d likely be marching up Capitol Hill with a torch and a pitchfork. So the idea behind all the "wherefore"s and "pursuant to"s is self-preservation. The members of Congress don’t want us to figure out what they’re up to until they’re safely out of Congress, enjoying the ill-gotten gains at the expense of the taxpayers.

Notice, I’m not saying who’s more guilty of this, the red team or the blue team. Both sides carry out this activity, often with the assistance of the other team. And, I also want to point out that not all lawyers do this: my sister-in-law, who’s an attorney, doesn’t do this, despite the fact that she works for the SEC.

15 thoughts on “Gobble, Gobble, Gobble… #jusjojan

  1. You are right! I hate the legalize crappola they all put out from the smallest to the biggest. When I was let go from my employer, due to restructuring, the legal crap was 3 pages long. I took it to 3 lawyers but I did sign it because I figured my severance etc.. was good. The sad thing is if I get a job before my severance runs out(I will be aok), I would have to give 1/2 the money back! The lawyers stated that would be hard to fight…which is atrocious in my book.


    1. The OSHA regulation for ladders is some 200 pages long. That’s stupid.

      You were smart to show your severance agreement to an attorney (actually three). I never would have caught the thing about the pay…


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