Look inward. Anyone ever give you that advice? Ever wonder what they’re telling you?
You’re always faced with life decisions: whether to stay with your spouse or partner or leave them, whether to get up and go to work or stay home and look for something better to do, whether you’re living where you want to be or you should move, whether your career is all you expected or whether it’s time to try something new, whether you’re happy with yourself physically or you need to change your diet and exercise habits, whether life with the intoxicant of your choice is the life you want to lead or that it’s time to face life substance-free. If you ask the people around you what you should do, they’ll give you their opinion.
And that’s all it is, an opinion. Whether you like their opinion or not, you asked for it and they gave it. Ultimately, the choice you make won’t (or shouldn’t) be what someone opines. It might be what you end up doing, but it won’t be because they told you "you should do x." It will be because you evaluated their opinion(s) against what you already know about yourself and what you want to get out of it. They can’t answer that, because they aren’t you. Only you can make that choice, that decision.
When you think about it, you can save yourself a lot of time and aggravation if you just start out looking inward in the first place. You already know the answers to those questions. You know you should stay with your spouse. You know when it’s time to change jobs or careers, etc. When people know what you’ve decided, they’ll offer their opinions on it, at which point you can say, "Thank you, I’ll take that under advisement," and then ignore them.
The Sound of One Hand Typing 
Yes, I listen to my own voice but I do ask my hubby and close friends. In the end I rake what they say under advisement and still do what my gut tells me
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That’s what you need to do…
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Some class I took said to never take advice from someone who isn’t meeting the goals you aim to meet; only take from them lessons on what not to do. So the value of an opinion can be weighted by if the person giving it has achieved the goal you’ve set.
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Good point!
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Ha! The old “I’ll take that under advisement”. I do that at work a lot but in my personal space I worry way too much about others opinions. Here’s where mixing business and personal might be good.
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Really…. people are trying to be helpful, I understand that, and if you ask them their opinion, they’ll give it to you, but that’s as far as it goes. Whether you actually act on their opinion is up to you, and they have to understand that, even if you do take their advice, you’re not doing it because they suggested it, you’re doing it because you thought about it and decided that was the way to go.
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I think it is good to get some advice as long as it is not unsolicited and someone is sticking their nose in your business so to speak. It is good to get different perspectives and then put it all together to make the best choice for you. Sometimes it is even good to go to a professional, i.e. counselor, who has no emotional connection to you but can objectively lay out the facts.
betty
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Sure, if you go to a counselor, you should give their opinion more weight, but you shouldn’t feel too badly about evaluating it and deciding that isn’t the way you want to go. Ultimately, you trust your gut and go with what you feel is the right thing to do, whether it’s your opinion, the opinion of friends, or the opinion of professionals.
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“I’ll take that under advisement.” Great line. I’ll have to start using that one.
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You’re free to use it, no charge. I stole it from someone else.
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LOL
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We know ourselves better than anyone else. Best to listen to ourselves than to listen to another’s opinion.
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Right. Or as Lawrence Block once said, everybody gets a vote, but you get to count them.
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Yes, I like that!
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Well much needed advice for me today
Still learning to ignore advises and opinions…but almost there with learning about doing my own thing 🙂
Dropping by from a to z “The Pensive”
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Right…. you can listen to what everyone has to say, but ultimately the decision is yours.
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