Writers Workshop: Heap Big

Writer's Workshop 1 Minute

I don’t know if they still do this, but back in the day they would put the weight of a box of laundry detergent, but they also gave the size a name. The biggest size was "Family Size," and immediately below that was "Giant Soze." Families were a lot bigger back then, and it wouldn’t be unusual for a couple to have five or six kids. As you can imagine, Mom was in the basement all day a couple of days a week running the washer and dryer almost non-stop.

Now, if a box is 49 ounces, they’ll tell you it’s 49 oz. (3 lb. 1 oz., 1.39 kg), but I’m pretty sure they’ve stopped calling that the Giant Size. Kind of a shame, really.

Mary just bought a new kind of laundry detergent that comes in sheets. I guess it’s concentrated, so that one sheet (about 5" x 7") does a whole load. Why didn’t they think of that sooner?

Andre the Giant was a big ol’ boy, as we call guys 7 feet 4 inches tall and 520 pounds. (That’s 2235 cm and 236 kg for you metric fans.) A lot of people remember him from his wrestling days, but I remember him for the part he played in The Princess Bride. He and Billy Crystal became good friends, which inspired the movie My Giant. Andre suffered from acromegaly and died at 46. I was really sorry to hear that. Despite the fact that he was a real brute in the ring, he seemed like a gentle and funny guy.

Published by John Holton

Internet disc jockey, lover of old TV (especially the commercials), inveterate wise guy.

Published

15 thoughts on “Writers Workshop: Heap Big”

  1. I was really into WWF when I was growing up and Andre the Giant was a huge reason why (no pun intended). I always felt kind of sorry for him though. I can’t imagine how difficult life would be at that size, although I suppose he made the best of it, he did find great success afterall!

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    1. He died really young (in his early 40’s). He had acromegaly, which is why he was so big, and what killed him finally. Billy Crystal did that movie “My Giant” about him. They had become friends while filming “The Princess Bride” (a movie everyone should see).

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  2. Pingback: The Slightly-Delayed Week That Was – The Sound of One Hand Typing

  3. I now remember when “Family Size” used to be on detergent boxes. Maybe it’s become politically incorrect? Since families come in “all shapes and sizes”?

    My coworkers would often quote Princess Bride, and I had never seen it.
    So I watched it. Anybody want a peanut?
    you see what I did there

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  4. I have memories of Tide……….. a bathroom, a sponge, and bubbles by the mile. I was about 4 and helping Mum by cleaning the bathroom, and used a whole box of Tide. The lock on the door was faulty and I’d locked myself in which made me cry as the bubbles were going everywhere and the sponge I was using to try and disperse them made matters worse. My Dad had to get the ladder and come through the window.

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