Hogan’s Heroes: Season 1 Ep 23, “The 43rd, A Moving Story”

LOGLINE: Hogan has a mission to move a mobile anti-aircraft artillery battery, but Klink’s new tough second-in-command is impeding the Heroes.

The episode starts with Lynch being dropped from a plane and picked up by Newkirk and Carter and brought back to camp. He’s brought both explosives and detonator caps that the Heroes are to use to blow up an anti-aircraft artillery battery (the 43rd) within 48 hours, when an air raid is scheduled to bomb the chemical plant the battery is protecting. Lynch gives them the explosives and reminds them that they never send the detonator caps with the explosives, whereupon Hogan takes his jacket, cuts open the lining, and retrieves the caps. In news from home, the St. Louis Browns are in first place in the American League (indicating this is 1944, though it might be early 1942) and the bank is about to foreclose on "Mary Noble, Backstage Wife," about which Carter says he doesn’t know how much more he can take.

Hogan is discussing the job of blowing up the battery with Newkirk and Carter, who are in German uniforms. LeBeau tells them that Schultz is coming: Carter gets in bed and covers himself up (they tell Schultz that Carter has the German measles) and Newkirk hides between a couple of clothing racks. Schultz tells them they’re a bunch of "jolly jokers," and leaves the barracks. Newkirk and Carter come out of hiding and Schultz returns (sending Carter and Newkirk back into hiding), having forgotten to tell Hogan that Klink wants to see him in the office and introduce his "new executive officer," Major Kuehn.

Kuehn is going over Klink’s records and pressing him on the fact that his report on attempted escapes is two off. Klink tells him the two don’t count because they were guards. Klink reminds him that his appointment is only temporary and that he’s second in command, to which Kuehn says "or to put it another way, I am temporarily second in command." Clearly, Kuehn holds Klink in contempt and expects to be made kommandant of Stalag 13.

Hogan arrives, ending the discussion. Kuehn informs him that he’s doubled the guard, even though there hasn’t been a successful escape. Hogan asks him why; Kuehn says to end the attempts. Klink objects, saying that he’s the kommandant, leading to Kuehn telling him about his "Uncle Karl," Field Marshall Karl von Streicher of the General Staff, who’s apparently an expert on military protocol. Klink folds, telling Hogan that he has decided to double the guard. Kuehn says that maybe the letter to his uncle can wait, and leaves. Hogan tells Klink he has three options: resign, request a transfer to the Eastern Front, or pray for an Allied invasion.

Later, Newkirk and Carter come back into the tunnel and tell Hogan that the "place is crawling with Krauts," and that the mission may need to be scrubbed. Hogan calls the submarine and asks if the mission to blow up the anti-aircraft battery can be put off, and he’s told no.

Hogan has an idea: he has Lynch fall out for roll call and hide in the backseat of Klink’s car. Schultz, who counts them on the way out, notices that they’re one over and counts them again outside. Hogan points Lynch out to Schultz, who finds him just as Klink and Kuehn come out of the office. Klink orders Schultz to take Lynch in so that he can interrogate him. Kuehn reminds Klink that the executive officer conducts interrogations, and Klink changes the order.

Newkirk observes that it’s a complicated war, but he doesn’t see how they can win when the enemy keeps capturing their men. Hogan tells him that the capture was the first step in his master plan. When Newkirk asks what the next step is, Hogan admits he doesn’t have one.

Hogan goes to Klink’s office and asks if they can leave the lights on later, and stops short of saying it’s for a celebration. When pressed, he says that it’s just such a nice night out, with a "bomber’s moon. Klink denies his request, and he leaves after saying that he’ll ask again tomorrow, that there might be more to celebrate then. On the way out, he tells Helga that if she’s going on a date that night, they should avoid Hammelburg.

Klink tells Kuehn that clearly Hogan was sending a message that there was a bombing raid set to hit Hammelburg that night, and that they should call General Burkhalter and have him move the 43rd anti-aircraft battery to Hammelburg. As he starts to dial, Kuehn announces triumphantly that Klink has fallen into Hogan’s trap, and Klink doesn’t make the call.

Kuehn is sneaking around the barracks to see what might be happening. Hogan tells the men to fall out and stand near the corner of the building (where Kuehn is hiding). Hogan says he has a couple of announcements: one, that whoever stole Newkirk’s watch can forget it, that Newkirk has stolen it back; and second, that the Red Cross packages scheduled to arrive tomorrow will be delayed or even destroyed, but that when they learn the reason, they won’t be disappointed.

Kuehn returns to Klink’s office and, after reassuring Klink that his loyalty lies with him, gets the route that the Red Cross packages take to get to the camp, confirming that they come via Hammelburg, and reminds Klink that he needs to check the security at the gate. Klink leaves and Kuehn calls General Burkhalter, convinced that a raid is scheduled for Hammelburg, and convinces the general to move the 43rd to Hammelburg.

The next day, Klink is furious that he wasn’t informed of Burkhalter’s visit. Kuehn tells him that the General was coming to see him, not Klink, and that he might be bringing a surprise, implying that the Field Marshall would come with him. Burkhalter arrives and tells Kuehn that there was a raid–on Kaiserhof, where the 43d had been stationed, protecting a chemical factory, until Kuehn convinced him to move them. Burkhalter asks Klink if he can get along without an executive officer, intimating that Kuehn is in for some serious discipline. Kuehn threatens to involve his uncle the Field Marshal, when Burhkhalter informs him that the Field Marshall was on an inspection tour of the chemical plant.

At the end, Hogan has been summoned to Klink’s office. He arrives early and removes Lynch’s record from Klink’s files. Klink arrives, angry that his no-escape record was ruined by Lynch’s escape. Hogan asks Klink to find the record. It’s missing, and Klink thinks it might be because Lynch is a spy.

CAST:

  • Bob Crane as Hogan
  • Werner Klemperer as Klink
  • John Banner as Schultz
  • Robert Clary as LeBeau
  • Richard Dawson as Newkirk
  • Ivan Dixon as Kinchloe
  • Larry Hovis as Carter
  • Cynthia Lynn as Helga
  • Sandy Kenyon as Kuehn
  • Leon Askin as Burkhalter
  • Hal Lynch as Lynch

Sorry for these summaries vanishing like that… I’ll get back on track this week.

Song Lyric Sunday: “The Road To The Isles”

Jim got today’s theme from Kristian over at Tales From The Mind Of Kristian: "Atoll, Island, Key, Lagoon, Peninsula, Reef, Tropical." I had no idea what I would do for this until this morning, when I channeled my inner Scotsman and remembered this tune (pronounced "chune") from my piping days. It’s a traditional Scottish song called "The Road To The Isles." Here is Andy Stewart, who made a career of singing traditional Scottish songs.

The lyrics, from Songlyrics.com:

A far croonin’ is pullin’ me away
As take I wi’ my cromack to the road.
The far Coolins are puttin’ love on me.
As step I wi’ the sunlight for my load.

Sure by Tummel and Loch Rannoch and Lochaber I will go
By heather tracks wi’ heaven in their wiles.
If it’s thinkin’ in your inner heart the braggart’s in my step.
You’ve never smelled the tangle o’ the Isles.
The far Coolins are puttin’ love on me.
As step I wi’ my cromack to the Isles.

It’s by Shiel water the track is to the west.
By Aillort and by Morar to the sea.
The cool cresses I am thinkin’ of for pluck.
And bracken for a wink on Mother knee.

Sure by Tummel and Loch Rannoch and Lochaber I will go
By heather tracks wi’ heaven in their wiles.
If it’s thinkin’ in your inner heart the braggart’s in my step.
You’ve never smelled the tangle o’ the Isles.
Oh the far Coolins are puttin’ love on me.
As step I wi’ my cromack to the Isles.

Oh the blue islands are pullin’ me away.
Their laughter puts the leap upon the lame.
The blue islands from the Skerries to the Lewis.
Wi’ heather honey taste upon each name.

Sure by Tummel and Loch Rannoch and Lochaber I will go
By heather tracks wi’ heaven in their wiles.
If it’s thinkin’ in your inner heart the braggart’s in my step.
You’ve never smelled the tangle o’ the Isles.
Oh the far Coolins are puttin’ love on me.
As step I wi’ my cromack to the Isles.

That’s Song Lyric Sunday (and Song of the Day) for October 24, 2021.

BATTLE OF THE BANDS: “Chega de Saudade” Results

I haven’t announced the winner of my latest Battle of the Bands, in which two bossa nova bands, NOVA and The Irene Miranda Quartet, duked it out to see which one did a better version of Tom Jobim’s "Chega de Saudade" ("No More Blues"). The votes have (finally) been counted, and here’s what we have…

NOVA – 5

  • Kip
  • Dan
  • Arlee
  • Eugi
  • Birgit

Irene Miranda Quartet – 2

  • Willow
  • Stephen

Congratulations to NOVA and a pat on the back to Irene Miranda and her Quartet.

We didn’t have as many votes as we had the last two rounds. I decided to see what would happen if I didn’t pin the BotB post to the top of my blog, and evidently, that’s what happens. I’ll start doing that for my next battle, scheduled for November 1, 2021. See you then!

Oh, My Stomach… #socs

Throughout my adult life, and maybe as far back as in my late teens, my stomach has given me trouble. It runs in the family: Dad had ulcers, and his mother (Grandma Holton) had such trouble that they took out 60% of her stomach.

When I was a junior in college, I started having some digestive issues, and Mom set up an appointment for me with the doctor. He asked a few questions, did some external investigating (listening to my stomach and other stuff down there through a stethoscope), then sent me for an upper and a lower GI series. Both were pretty awful: I had to drink a drink made with barium so they could x-ray it going down and through my digestive tract, and the guy developing the films (who was nicknamed Space Angel, to give you an idea) kept screwing them up, so I had to drink the barium three times before he got it right. (I probably would have had to drink more if I hadn’t told the technicians that were taking the x-rays that if I had to drink the stuff one more time, I was going to make him come in and drink with me.)

That was the upper GI; I won’t talk about the lower GI other than to say "barium enema"…

A few nights later, I got a call from my mother. "John, your tests have come back, and you have a duodenal ulcer."

"Okay…" She could have said I had fireballs of the Eucharist and it would have made as much sense.

"A duodenal ulcer comes from stress. Now, WHAT’S GIVING YOU STRESS?"

I was taken aback. "Nothing, Mom…"

"Well, there must be something. WHAT IS IT?"

At this point in the conversation, I could have said "this line of questioning," and I was sorely tempted to blame the whole thing on my first two years of college, spent at a school she insisted on, but eventually I was able to convince her that there was nothing I could think of that would cause it.

Anyway, she told me to call the doctor, which I did the next day. I had to quit smoking and stop drinking regular coffee and alcohol, restrict myself to a bland diet, take a 2 mg Valium before eating and an ounce of Mylanta after, and "try to avoid stressful situations."

I got over the ulcer just fine within about three months and started up all my bad habits again, and the stomach distress stayed away until after I graduated and started working full-time.

Linda Hill brings us Stream of Consciousness Saturday over most of these same stations. Now a word about Carling Black Label Beer. Mabel, Black Label!