It’s that time again! Melanie has the questions and the rules, and I have the answers (mine, anyway). And away we go!

What will finally break the Internet? Do you believe it can be broken at all? Social media, Google, and porn. I’m certain that, given enough time and inclination, it’ll happen one of these days.

What are some ‘red flags’ to watch out for in daily life? (take it as you want) If people stop talking when you come into a room, they were probably talking about you.

What’s the silliest thing someone has argued with you about? I think I mentioned that my brother and I argued over the spelling of a baseball player’s name. It’s a brothers thing, you wouldn’t understand…

What’s the strangest thing you’ve found lying on the ground / side of the road? One shoe. No mate.

Right now, I’m happy I went upstairs from the living room early, because I’m really getting tired and climbing the stairs is enough trouble when I’m reasonably awake. I’m off to bed. See you in the funny papers!

And we’re back! Melanie has given us four more questions to answer…

Are you a clean or messy person? Definitely messy. Always have been. Probably always will be.

If I asked you to describe yourself in five words – what would they be? Obese, crippled, tired, cranky hilarious, dyspeptic.

Do you enjoy being out in nature? If by “out in nature” you mean “out of the house,” then yes. Beyond that, probably no, although I like the crows.

What could you spend all day talking about? Nothing. Seriously, just start me talking and I’ll take you on a tour of the rabbit warren that is my mind.

See you in the funny papers!

It’s that time again! Melanie has the questions and the rules over at her place, in the event you’d like to play along. I and a few others have the answers here…

Where do you not mind waiting? The doctor’s or dentist’s office. Not that I especially mind being at the doctor’s or dentist’s office (I like them and the people who work for them). Honestly, I don’t mind waiting anywhere. I’m at a stage of my life where there’s nothing else going on.

What is in your fridge right now? A lot of leftovers and a couple of bottles of lemonade.

If you could only speak one word today, what would it be? “Crap.” Everything’s gone sideways on us today. The Internet was out most of the day, the refrigerator we were supposed to have delivered wasn’t because the truck broke down, and some work that we had done recently wasn’t done correctly. Like I said, crap…

Would you rather be trapped in an elevator full of men with B.O. or three soaked dogs? Three soaked dogs. They’d be more fun. Once Mary knitted a pair of mittens for her mother using good-quality yarn. A week later, her mother said “I washed those mittens you gave me, and now they smell like a wet dog. But that’s good!” Which is true.

Gratitude The baseball season, such as it is, starts Thursday!

See you in the funny papers!

And we’re back with another week of Share Your World! Melanie has the questions and the instructions over at her place, and everyone who’s doing this will have a link or a pingback in the comments. And now, to quote Jackie Gleason, “And awaaaaaaay we go!”

What song always gets you out on the dance floor? Sorry, don’t dance. I’m as light on my feet as an elephant wearing lead shoes.

What’s your favorite sleeping position? On my right side. I’ve tried sleeping on my left side (as all the “experts” suggest) with mixed success. Forget front and back.

If you could snap your fingers and instantly make the world better, what would you do? Di (I think that’s her name) said she would banish Covid-19 forever. Mine would be to have back the last 3 ½ months back without having to worry about the damn virus.

What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done, and why did you do it? I know there was something back when I was around 11 or 12 and for the life of me can’t remember what it was (probably blocked it out of my memory). I’m pretty sure a few of my friends were involved. We weren’t exactly juvenile delinquents, but we came close on a few occasions.

Please feel free to share something uplifting from your life! This is usually a question about gratitude, so I’ll talk about that: Yesterday morning, I looked down and saw that my right arm was covered in blood. I have dry skin, and occasionally I’ll get an itch and wound myself when I scratch it. Normally, I hold a paper towel on it for a couple of minutes and it stops, but yesterday it just kept bleeding. I called for Mary to help, and it wouldn’t stop for her, either. She ran out to CVS and got some liquid bandage, and that finally stopped it. So I’m grateful to Mary and whoever invented liquid bandage.

See you in the funny papers!

Time once again for Melanie’s Share Your World! Follow that link for the instructions and the questions, of which my answers are below…

In your opinion, what’s the closest thing to real magic? Waking up in the morning. A priest friend of mine said it’s a miracle you experience every day.

Where is the worst smelling place you’ve been? Anyplace there’s a paper mill. The worst was probably West Monroe, Louisiana. I have no idea what it is about the papermaking process that stinks so much, but trust me, it’s the worst smell I’ve dealt with.

What are some things that you’ve heard in your own life, which sounded like compliments but were actually insults? Honestly, I can’t think of any. When people want to insult me, they’re usually pretty direct about it.

What incredibly common thing have you never done? Watch anything on Netflix, and honestly, I don’t know if I ever will.

See you in the funny papers!