#TBTMemory 50: Are Rules Made To Be Broken?

Maggie provides us with today’s Throwback Thursday questions.

This week, I thought we would talk about rules and family hierarchy, and child/parent relationships.

I was lucky in that I wasn’t abused by discipline, so this doesn’t trigger me or anything.

Who in your family was the person who made and enforced rules? Mom. Dad wasn’t around for a good portion of my childhood, but even when he was, Mom was the enforcer.

Did you grow up with many rules, or was your life a little more flexible? Not a lot of rules, and yes, things were more flexible.

Were you a rule follower or a rule breaker? I was a rule follower, and maybe a little too conscientious about it. It carried over into my adult life.

How were discipline and – in contrast – rewards managed in your household? On a case-by-case basis.

Were you given the opportunity to plead your case in matters of disagreement? Not that I can recall.

What tools did your parents use – ‘I’m going to count to three‘ or ‘don’t make me get up‘ or a time-out chair? Mom was a great one for saying “If I have to get out of this chair…” I asked her once what would have happened. She said she didn’t know.

Did fear of discipline curb your desire to break or bend the rules? Yes.

Did your upbringing influence the way you (as an adult) managed rules in your own home? We don’t have any kids, so no.

Were you ever ‘grounded’? Do you want to share the story? It was weird. I was a sophomore in college and went with some friends on the 4th of July to see fireworks, then we went for pizza and beer. I got home after midnight, and was informed that I was grounded. For what, I don’t know. I thought she was kidding. No, she wasn’t. Like I said, weird. (Now that I think about it, she was pregnant at the time.)

Did you break rules your parents never knew about? Want to confess and leave with a clear conscience? No? I don’t think so. I was too much of a rule follower. We didn’t have that many “thou shalt not”s, but more than a few “thou shalt”s.

See you next week!

Tally-ho and away we go!
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#TBTMemory 49: Dating

Lauren is the Vice President In Charge Of Throwback Thursday this week, and has a bunch of questions about dating. So let’s plunge right into it…

On your very first date, did you do the asking, or were you asked out? My very first date was when my class in 8th grade went to see Twelfth Night at Loyola Unversity. Julie from down the street was in my class, and I asked if I could walk her there and back and sit with her. She said yes. We sort of met in the middle of Glenwood Avenue between her house at one end of the block and mine at the other, we went to the play, had some chit-chat, and when it was over I walked her all the way back home and saw her into her building, then I walked home.

Were you typically stressed out before a first date? Did things seem to be easier the more you dated the same person? I wasn’t stressed out about first dates, but the more I dated a girl, the more comfortable I got.

What did you do to prepare for the date? Did you wear new clothes, or special outfits? I took my girlfriend at the time to see Taj Mahal at Northwestern, and bought a new shirt of the occasion. Then there was the first date I had with the next girl, and I bought a sort of salmon-colored shirt and pants. It was the only time I wore that outfit, now that I think of it. It was typical of the times (the mid-late ’70’s) where the description was “we thought we looked good.”

Snazzy!

How did you meet those first dates? Were your dates with friends of a family member, or friends of a friend? I lived down the street from my first; you can read about it here. The next girl walked up to me at a dance and asked if I was with someone. When I said no, we did some dancing, then went outside and made out. It was a gorgeous night in early spring, kind of blustery and warm. The next girl’s parents were friends of my parents; the girl after that, the friend of a friend; I met the next one at school, the one after that at work, and the next one, to whom I’ve been married for the last 45 years, I saw in a training class at Marshall Field’s and met when we were at Loyola.

Did you have a curfew on those early dates? Did you typically arrive home on time or were you constantly breaking curfew? No.

Did your parents insist on meeting whomever you dated? No.

Where did you usually go when on a date? Usually out for food or coffee (or beer).

Did the boy/man always pay for the date or did you go Dutch treat? I paid, so I guess the boy/man did.

Were you typically the talker or the listener on a date? The listener, though I did my share of talking (of course).

What did you do if the date clearly wasn’t going well? See it through to the end, anyway.

A connection from the past to the present, if applicable. How long did you date your current partner before marriage? I met Mary in October 1976, and we were married in January 1978. Sixteen months?

Bonus Question: Care to share a disasterous first date? Uh, no…

#TBTMemory 48: Then And Now

Lauren is our hostess for today, and she has declared our topic is "That Was Then And This Is Now."

I’m doing something a little different this week. Growing up, we all had dreams and aspirations. I’d like you to think back about what you were like and what you wanted as a kid compared to the adult choices you made.

When you were a kid, did you like your name? Would you have changed it if you could? Do you like it now? I thought my name was OK then, and I think it’s OK now.

As a kid, what always brought a smile to your face? The Three Stooges! What about now, as an adult? The Three Stooges!

Some things never change!

What was the most important lesson your parents taught you? Did you pass that lesson down to your family? J-O-B does not spell "fun." I’ve spent much of my life trying to forget it.

See? They’re having fun…

Are there talents you started as a child that you still have? If so, what are they? I haven’t forgotten how to play the guitar, although I haven’t been able to since my stroke.

Is there something you regret not doing or starting when you were young? What was it? I wish I had kept up my drawing.

Did you have more close friends as a kid or as an adult? As a kid. Any idea why? Lots of reasons. The stroke had a lot to do with it. Before that, I spent a lot of time on the road and just lost touch.

I miss Tarder Sauce…

Where did you go to think as a kid? I’d go for a walk. Where do you go now? To sleep.

What would be the name of the chapter of your life from 10 – 18? Frustration and Ennui What would the name be the name of the chapter of your life currently? Get Off My Lawn!

What wonderful thing happened in your adult life that your child self could never have imagined? I got married!

Remember these two?

Would your child self like your adult self? Why or why not? He’d like me, but he’d think I was boring.

Tally-ho and away we go!
See you next week with a brand new show!

Throwback Thursday 47: Hanging Out #TBTMemory

Lauren is this week’s host for Throwback Thusday, the subject of which is Hanging Out.

Think back to where you liked to hang out when you were young. Your stomping grounds might have been determined by your ability to get to a variety of locations. It’s time to pull on those tangled memory strings and sort out some thoughts.

Did you spend more time hanging out at friend’s houses or away from the eyes and ears of parents? I spent some time at friends’ houses, but for the most part stayed away from my mother in my room.

If you stayed home, how did you spend your time? Listening to music, reading, smoking cigarettes and drinking Dr Pepper in my room. If no one else was watching TV, I would take over the back porch, or if something was on TV that a couple of us were watching, I watched with them.

Did you have a favorite eatery? Not really. I mean, I liked a couple of places, but they were places I went with Mom, her gentleman friend (later husband) who we called Tex (long story), and my brothers. The closest I came to having an “eatery” where I hung out with my friends was the school cafeteria.

Did you go to the mall with friends? “The mall” was a developing concept when I was in high school. There was Old Orchard, which was one of the first shopping malls, and Deerbrook Mall, whre I worked at the Jewel, but they weren’t places we “hung out.” That would come about ten years later. We mostly went to them when we needed clothes or something.

Did choose to socialize at bowling alleys, arcades, or roller rinks? Occasionally, we’d spend time at Northfield Bowl, a bowling alley and arcade, but infrequently. When I say “arcade,” I mean two or three pinball machines and, later, a “video game,” Pong. Later they switched out Pong for Tank.

Did you go miniature golfing or do another outside activity? Not really.

Did you hang around after school killing time? What did you do? No. I usually wanted to go home after I was done with class.

Did your parents typically know where you were? In my room.

Did you prefer to “hang” with friends or family members? I preferred to hang by myself.

Was it “cool” to be seen hanging out at any particular place? Not that I knew of.

Was there a place you wanted to hang out, but weren’t allowed to? Not that I can remember.

Kinda lame, huh? Tell you what: if it ends up like this again, I’ll make up answers…

Tally-ho and away we go!
See you next week with a brand new show!

Throwback Thursday 46: Hiding Places #TBTMemory

My answers to today’s TBT aren’t going to be especially enlightening or hilarious, because I wasn’t typically one for hiding things. But I figure since Maggie put the questions together, it was the least I could do…

Did you keep a diary or a journal? If so, where did you keep it? I didn’t keep a journal until I was in my 30’s. I’d occasionally write something that looked and sounded like a journal entry, but that was more to blow off steam, and I’d usually throw it away after writing it. When I started journaling in my 30’s, I kept the notebook in my briefcase, more so I’d have it if I was traveling (wich I had just started doing extensively) or at work (if I felt the need to write there) than to keep it from Mary.

Did you have treasures or money you hid from siblings or parents? No. Money would generally burn a hole in my pocket. And treasures? Not many to speak of…

Did you have a need to hide things your parents would not approve of, like cigarettes, etc.? Not really. I would hide cigarettes from Mom so she wouldn’t smoke them. I found switching to menthol fixed that…

Thinking back, describe your most creative hiding place. I had a briefcase that I kept in my closet (I forget why I needed one when I was 15) that I would hide things in occasionally. But, like I said, I didn’t generally try too hard to hide things.

Did you have a tin box or safe or a diary with a lock? Nope.

What about yourself? Did you ever have a favorite get away spot or hiding place? Hmmmmm…

If you did not feel the need to hide away, where did you go for a little alone time? My room.

If you had siblings, did they hide things from you? If so, what types of things? I’m sure they did…

Now that you are an adult, do you still have little niches where you hide things away, like mad money, treasured letters, etc? Actually, no. I don’t have anything worth hiding.

When you feel the need to be alone, to where do you retreat? To Dreamland, that magical place in my head that looks like a cross between a hotel, an office, and a grocery store, where I buy cigarettes and Dr Pepper and talk to people whose names I’ve forgotten but who I know really well.

Tally-ho and away we go!
See you next week with a brand new show!